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Doctor Drakken, the man once known by his peers as Drew Lipsky, smiled devilishly as he looked over his latest plan, the details of which were scribbled out on his Etch-a-Sketch.
“It’s brilliant!” he cackled as he ran toward his sidekick, Shego. “With this plan we shall take control of Connecticut and rename it Drakkecticut!”
Shego sighed as she looked at the Etch-a-Sketch that had been shoved in her face. “Oh, right… Except your running over here shook it so much that your brilliant plan got erased!”
Drakken’s eyes went wide and he quickly spun the Etch-a-Sketch around, only to see Shego had spoken the truth. “No! All my hard work! Confounded child’s toy!”
“Hey,” Shego said, returning to sharpening her clawed gloves with a file. “I told you to type your big plans out on your computer, but no…”
“No more computers, Shego!” Drakken barked, throwing the Etch-a-Sketch across the lab. “Never again! Not after that last debacle!”
“Hey, it’s not like every computer you own is going to become sentient and kick us out of your lair. Then again, with our luck…”
“Are you saying we’re unlucky, Shego?”
“Doy,” she answered, not even looking her blue skinned employer in the face. “Maybe you haven’t noticed, but we’ve never managed to pull off any of your plans to rule the world, or even rename some small part of it!”
“We were so close with Drakkanada!”
“Only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades, doc.”
“Well we have tried both against Kim Possible, but her cursed mad skills as a cheerleader have led to many misses.”
“Yeah, well, you have to be the first person in history to throw a horse shoe like a boomerang.”
“And I have the black eye to prove it!”
Shego rolled her eyes. “Anyway… What was your plan?”
“Ah… well…” Drakken said, scratching his head, trying to remember just what he had been plotting. “Ah, yes! The plan! One Professor Hugo J. Crawford has invented a machine so dangerous, so mind-boggling deadly, that I must possess it!”
“And this machine is called what exactly?”
Drakken took a deep breath. “The ionizer!”
“And what does it do?”
“I have absolutely no idea!”
“Wonderful…”
“However,” Drakken continued, “it does sound cool, and that’s enough for me!”
Shego slumped back into her chair, shaking her head. “What makes you even think it’s even worth stealing?”
“I already told you. The name. It is tres magnifique!”
Shego sighed. “It’s the neutronalizer all over again… All right, let’s go get it.”
It was then that Shego first noticed it. An odd odor pervaded the room. Straining her eyes, she could vaguely make out some substance shifting through the still air.
“We have to get out of he-“
Before she could finish her sentence, however, it was too late. Everything went black.
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Shego slowly opened her eyes as if awaking from a deep sleep. Remembering the knockout gas she had spotted before blacking out, she quickly powered up, her hands becoming enveloped in an emerald energy. Shego attempted to crouch into a martial arts stance learned long ago, only to find she could not. Quickly, she took in her surroundings and found that she was held against a wall by metal restraints. She was not alone in the small room as she could see Doctor Drakken beside her, unconscious and also locked against the wall.
“Hey, Doctor D, wake up.” No response. “Fine… Drakken, wake up!”
“Just a little more sleep, okay, Mom?” Drakken’s eyes made no motion to open and he continued to snore.
Shego scowled. “Oh for the love- Doctor D, I got the ionizer-“
Drakken awoke with a start. “Where? Where is it?”
Shego responded in her usual dry tongue. “In the lab of whomever invented it.”
“That was cruel, Shego,” Drakken replied, his face grim.
“It’s my job.”
“I don’t pay you to poke fun at me!”
“Well, you rarely pay me period!”
“Shego,” Drakken began. “A wise man once said ‘Always count thy dollars, for they are signs of one’s success.'”
“No wonder we’re broke.”
Drakken’s face was aghast. “Are you saying that my self-created quote does not apply to us?”
“I thought you said a wise man once said it.”
“Oh that does it- Why are we imprisoned to this wall?”
“Oh, you noticed,” Shego replied. “Took you long enough. Well, I was getting bored and thought ‘Hey, I’ll lock myself and Drakken away in some small room-“
“What were you thinking?” Drakken rasped.
Shego lowered her head in disgust. “Humor, Doctor D. It’s called humor.”
Suddenly, the room’s sole door opened, allowing a person clad in a blue jumpsuit to enter the room. She was a woman who appeared to be in her thirties. She wore an eye patch, one of her eyes apparently no more.
“Good afternoon,” she said. “I’m Doctor Director, the head of Global Justice, the ultimate force in global- “
“Justice?” Shego finished.
Doctor Director stepped back. “How did you know?”
“Lucky guess.”
“Back to the slammer we go…” Drakken sighed, his face turning even more blue than usual.
“Not necessarily,” Doctor Director said, cutting off Drakken. “I only had you kidnapped from your lair for one reaso-“
It was now Drakken’s turn to cut off any given sentence. “How did you even know where we were?”
“You’re subscription to Villain’s Digest,” Doctor Director answered. “Global Justice funds the magazine in the hopes of subscriptions and thus allowing us to learn of your lair’s addresses.”
“Note to Doctor D: Cancel that subscription,” Shego said.
“But… but the crosswords-“
“I’ll make you crosswords if that’s what it takes!”
“Promise?” Drakken summoned up his best puppy dog pout.
Shego sighed. “Fine.”
“Ah,” Doctor Director said. “The puppy dog pout. A devious tactic, Doctor Drakken. I’m impressed.”
Drakken smiled. “See, Shego? I impressed someone.”
“Yay you.” Shego turned her attention to Doctor Director. “So, anyway… What do you want?”
“We have a mission for you,” Doctor Director answered. “Complete it and we will let you go, as well as erase your address from our files.”
“One: Why would the vaunted Global Justice want or need us to do their work?” Shego continued, more question just dying to be asked. “Two: You should know that I have broken Doctor D and myself out of jail many times over. You can’t really threaten us with that.”
“One: You two possess the information and… experience in regards to the threat we currently face,” Doctor Director answered. “Two: I’m more than willing to tell the super villain community that you, Shego, were once a super hero. Via Villain’s Digest, of course. As for you, Drakken? We know your phone number as well. And I have absolutely no problem with handing it out to every telemarketer on the planet.”
“We’re in!” Drakken answered without hesitation.
“Good.” Doctor Director smiled. She hit a switch on her wristband and the restraining locks let go, leaving Shego and Drakken free. “Now, this is the mission…”
Drakken’s face suddenly expressed fear, sweat beading down from his forehead. “You… you’re not going to self-destruct after you tell us, are you?”
“No.”
Drakken breathed a sigh of relief; Shego and Doctor Director just sighed.
Doctor Director continued. “Yesterday afternoon a mad scientist and his forces occupied a research facility of military nature. This mad scientist has also taken the scientists and security personal as hostages. To top it all off, the nature of this facility’s research is classified, unknown even to me. There’s no telling what could happen if anything there falls into the wrong hands. Global Justice wants you to sneak in, free the hostages, and bring this mad scientist and his henchmen to justice.”
“Does this mad scientist have a name?” Drakken asked.
“Yes. Professor Dementor.”
Drakken smiled. “That’s why you want me in on this little operation…”
“Yes; you and he have had a storied past, thus you have more experience dealing with him.”
“Then why am I here?” Shego asked, impatient and desiring answers. “Just getting dragged along because I’m the sidekick?”
“Not at all,” Doctor Director answered. “You, of all people- especially of all people connected to Drakken- know the layout of the city in which this research facility calls home.”
Shego’s eyes went wide. “Oh no…”
“That’s right,” Doctor Director continued. “You are both going to Go City.”
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