In everything that you do, first, do no harm.
This is one of the guiding principles of medical ethics, and it so happens that it is one of the rules I strongly adhere to. Even if it means hurting me or being a huge inconvenience, I always opt for the option which hurts the least people. It’s both a pro and a con on my character, but it’s a funny coincidence that it’s one of the 4 core principles of being a good doctor.
For an inexplicable reason, I was drawn towards being a doctor at an early age. It’s stretching it if I say my Papa Doc was a strong influence. In hindsight, maybe, but at the time, it was as simple as “helping others”. Then it evolved into defending people and their right to a good life. Serving people gives you a different kind of high. The other day, instead of being assigned to the OB wards with the usual 100+ patients to monitor, I was assigned to one with 40+ patients. And… I loved it so much.
I took just the right amount of time taking their vitals why asking how they were, why they were admitted (either CS or complicated pregnancy), then asked them if they understood their condition. Explaining to them and responding to their initially irritable questioning, which then unraveled a need for clarity and understanding… felt so fulfilling. It made me want to read up more even if we had our end of rotation exam earlier that morning.
The responsibility to do well academically, that spells the difference between saving a patient’s life and letting them worsen.
I’m so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. But there is no place I’d rather be.
For IM, I think, I have to stick to a stricter study schedule.
I really want to help people.
Not for the money, not for the respect, but… just because I can’t imagine doing anything else.
Even if there are days when I get emotionally torn up inside, the thought of making patients’ lives better, it’s where that smile comes from.
I may want to have my own family and shower them with all the love I’m capable of, but for now, being a doctor’s the real goal. I know I question fate and God everyday because I fear never having the opportunity to express my love and dedication towards my own family.
Let’s face it, no matter how accomplished you are, building your own family is the most fulfilling thing you can do in your life.
But worrying about that doesn’t do me any good.
For now, I’ll embrace this road to becoming a genuine doctor.
Everything else will be a perk.
Must keep my eyes on the goal.
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